Comedy Set #4 - Daddy Long Legs
Estimated Time: 3-5 minutes
I recently came across someone who was curious about why they called certain spiders, “Daddy Long Legs”. I’m not exactly sure why they call these spiders daddy long legs myself (aside from the long leg part). And are they automatically called Daddy Long Legs at birth or do they first have to become a fathering spider before they get that title? And what about female spiders? Where are they not in this picture? Any Mother Long Legs?
Well I guess like most black widow stories, there is never a strong black or brown recluse supporting role. The daddy long legs usually will go to the store for a pack of cigarettes and never return to see his children again.
Daddy Long Legs, is actually a horrible father.
It’s not his fault though, he’s a SPIDER. Did you honestly think spiders would make good parents? He’s poisonous….imagine if your dad was poisonous. Would you want to hang out with him? Of course not…HOW EMBARRASSING! Your insect friends would come jump on the trampoline web you just made and then next thing you know your dad comes outside to yell at you while spitting poison all over your friends and killing them, thus wrapping them in his web and storing them for dinner later. Do you know what it’s like to eat your friends for dinner…..and left overs for lunch? EMBARRASSING!
So of course the Daddy Long Leg will leave his children and run and hide, hoping the kids short legs don’t grow to be as long and shameful as his. You never see any DR. Long Legs crawling around. Just washed up divorced daddy’s sleeping in YOUR home under YOUR couch because he won’t go elsewhere and get his SHIT TOGETHER! His name is more like Should Of Got A Job and Wore A Spider Condom Long Legs.
I WANT A REAL LONG LEG THAT CAN PROVIDE FOR ME AND MY SHORTIES
said the black widow in her ghetto spider voice.
See giving the perspective at this point, it’s safe to assume that Daddy Long Legs are just horrible spiders. But I did my research and found out that Female spiders will eat the male spider after mating with them if the male is smaller then them!
WHAT A CRAZY BITCH!
No wonders the only daddy spiders are the ones with long legs, they’re the only ones big enough to put up with the fight and run away from that crazy 8 legged girl.
That’s got to be some GOOD SEX if you’re willing to fight for your life after
(unfinished)
